PCOS and Infertility

It’s been 109 days since I found out I was carrying an ectopic pregnancy and subsequently underwent surgery to have it removed. The first two months that followed were immensely difficult, but time healed the wounds, as it always does. The burden I carry—an enormous invisible bundle of sorrow, regret, longing, grief, anger, and guilt—has…

The Aftermath of Loss

You never truly know how strong you are until you’re faced with profound loss. An almost brush with death—had I waited another day, I wouldn’t have been so fortunate. They say pregnancy takes a toll on a woman’s body. Ectopic pregnancies are rare: 1 to 2 percent.  You see these things happen in films. You…

The Real Challenge to Fasting

Is psychological hunger. There is nothing that makes fasting more difficult than my brain trying to constantly sabotage my efforts by obsessively thinking about food. I attempted to go on a 72 hour fast yesterday, but broke it by the 43rd because I couldn’t stop thinking about food. Physical hunger itself is not a problem….

Things I Recently Learned About Fasting

A few days ago, I read Dr. Jason Fung’s series of write-ups on Fasting, Calories, and How to Lose Weight on his website after signing up for the free 12 week fasting course, and it’s been revelatory. I’ve learned about some of the benefits of fasting nine years ago, where I first read about Eat…

Japan at Last: Osaka Day 1

I’ve been meaning to post about my trip to Japan with my husband but kept procrastinating because I didn’t know how to start writing about it! Japan has always been the one country I wanted to visit; heck, I even dreamed of working and living there. Blame it on my being a 90s kid who…

Keto and Intermittent Fasting Update

The longest I’ve managed to stick to the ketogenic diet was about six weeks. I’ve never been able to hit any weight loss goal because, as I’ve shared in my previous post about self-esteem, I have a tendency to self-sabotage. Since starting my attempt at reconfiguring my thinking, however, sticking to keto has been a…

On Self-Esteem or Lack Thereof

This morning, over my usual cup of cold brew coffee, I realized that I’ve inadvertently allowed my fears to govern my life. For the past two weeks, along with my most recent attempt at following a ketogenic diet and fasting intermittently at the same time, I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster of a journey…

Embarking on a Journey of Self-Exploration

It’s ridiculously easy to forget how far you’ve come when all you do is compare yourself with others and you do this habitually, automatically. These past few days, I’ve been doing a lot of reflection and have made an insane amount of realizations, many of which are not at all easy to accept. After revisiting…

Applying for a Japan Visa in the Philippines

Warning: I rant a lot in this entry. When I started writing this, I had never traveled out of the country. Heck, I’d never even flown domestically. My mom was then the only person in my family who has left the Philippines (for a temporary stay in Australia). My dad, when asked why he never…

On Awareness and Transience

Only yesterday, I was sixteen years old, fresh out of high school, clad in a black t-shirt, flared jeans, and blue Chucks. I navigated a strange new world far from the home I’ve always known and shared a tiny bedroom in a dormitory with a girl from the South who spoke her native tongue with…